The world renowned fashion designer and entrepreneur Coco Chanel once said “A girl should be TWO things – WHO and WHAT she wants.”
Regardless if you have chosen a life as the mother of a child, as a stepmom, if you’re a fur-baby mama or completely child free I want you to know that we see you as a total badass.
By making your dreams reality you are showing both this and future generations of women what is possible. You are living proof that she has options in life and that her dreams are not only that – they are possible.
And for that, I thank you.
When I started my company there was no big celebration or party to mark the event, after all – it's not like I was graduating college, getting engaged, married or having a child now was there? Same thing when I got my certification as an interior, Homestaging consultant or social media manager. Crickets. I knew it wasn’t college, but it was still a professional degree with a certificate.
Jamie Kern Lima
So if life experience and a professional degree wasn’t enough, what else could I do? How do you get authority and show off your knowledge as a newbie? Well, you could always help friends and family and build a portfolio with before and after. But I wanted to dig deeper and learn more, both from present and former female entrepreneurs. The answers weren’t far away, in fact, some of them were waiting just a few generations back. Reading about the women in my family turned my interest to the living conditions and opportunities for women at that time versus the one we have today.
I started writing and sharing their stories on my blog and Instagram, hoping to give their story and contribution new light and interest. Why? Because it suddenly hit me that I never heard any of their names growing up, not even in the history books at school.
I was well aware that women didn’t get to vote until the election of 1921, but that a married woman didn’t have the same right as a single/widowed woman until 1925? That’s 100 years ago next year, a reason for married women across Sweden to celebrate? I would say both yes and now. Although I found a lot of changes across these 100 years, there are still two major areas that are still strongly debated.
Just the other week, Swedish Television aired a program discussing the matter of childbirth and that we might have a lack of taxpayers in the future; so how would we convince more women to have children? Should we do as others countries has done and pay them off? According to the experts in the studio, it seemed that as women got more options in the shape of education, work and a higher salary they chose NOT to have kids. Surprisingly enough, the experts seem to have forgotten the fact that you need the biological pieces of TWO persons in order to make a baby Perhaps they had all called in sick that day in the 6th grade when the school made you watch that cartoon movie as a part of biology..
A man and a woman share a good time together. A woman is then usually pregnant for 9 months before giving birth to another taxpayer. In that time, her body changes, her hormones change, her priorities change, her expectations from society change, her opportunities in the workplace change, her expectations at home change, not to mention the expectations from friends and family.
The program then went on presenting the cost of having ONE child, on average the parents are expected to spend 2,3 million Swedish crowns from the time the child is born until they turn eighteen. This calculation was made by Länsförsäkringar ( a Swedish bank).
However, this calculation did not apply to a child with any type or form of special needs or a child that might not move out by the time they turn 18.
Okay, so we now have the number 2,3 million. Now let's look at the second part of the debated subject: The Household.
In a recent rapport from the 10th of June 2024, Swedbank (another bank in Sweden) shows us just how much women are losing financially by living life according to the expectations and norms of society. But then again, staying home with the kids when they need you, that’s a mum thing – right?
Being away this much from work might not feel like a sacrifice because of the love she feels for her family. But the truth is that it strongly affects the options and opportunities that a woman has when she retires as her salary is the foundation for her retirement found.
But wait, there is more...
According to a study presented by "jamstalldhetskartan.se" in February of 2024, a woman will spend up to 5 hours and 36 minutes providing domestic services for her family.
On top of that, women are more likely to care for relatives as they grow older. She is also the one in charge of remembering and buying gifts for holidays and birthdays – sometimes she even hosts the events.
And don’t forget the beautiful garden, she simply must attend to the garden.
When I asked a few Swedish companies that provide household services like the ones I’ve mentioned, they told me that people pay between 200-300 Swedish crowns PER HOUR – just imagine if we started paying women that kind of money?
Would the status and appreciation for what she provides on a daily basis change and be viewed with different eyes?
Not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but did you know that a woman in Sweden has a 10,6% lower salary then her male colleagues (TO BEGIN WITH) ?! And STILL, despite all this – society, norms and experts on national television has the audacity to say that WE, the collective of women, are to blame for not popping out enough future taxpayers?
Its 2024!
Sorry, not sorry, but can’t they see that things need to change?
If a man has the option to choose whether or not he wants to be a stay at home dad or even be a dad at all, shouldn’t the same apply to women?
At the very least, shouldn’t our paychecks read the same when we are hired to perform the exact same job?
It's 2024, and a woman will still be asked where she got her dress or criticised for choosing the wrong pair of shoes while a man is being asked.. well all the other questions to be honest.
Ever heard a reporter ask a man if he is counting on his wife to support his little business? Or hear a man being told that it's cute that he has a hobby, just as long as it doesn’t get in the way of caring for the family?
Probably not.
At its best, that kind of interview would make it to the stand-up comedy stage…
If this is what a woman truly wants to do with her life, then go for it, I fully support your choice. As long as it is just that: YOUR choice.
As I sat there with all of my frustration, Cocos words came to mind, and I could feel how a God sized dream started to take shape inside of me and I decided to go with it.
Not to question it, but let the creativity run free.
The result was a new brand and design, Badass Business Mama. Not only would this be a way for women to start taking pride in their work and offers, but also talk about their business without using the word "little".
This was a brand and design that would help their significant other to support and speak about the business in a brand new way - it even had ways to include friends, relatives and the next generation, whether they be children, stepchildren, nephews, nieces or even fur-babies.
I hesitated for a second, would this new part of my brand really be enough to get the conversations started? To change the minds of politicians and the normativ views of society? Would people actually wear it? Absolutely.
If Apple could turn the symbol of sinn into a global success, then what’s to say this wouldn’t at least lead to a conversation about the need for change?
Failure was only guaranteed if I didn’t at least try.
Regardless if you have chosen a life as the mother of a child, as a stepmom, if you’re a fur-baby mama or completely child free I want you to know that we see you as a total badass.
By making your dreams reality you are showing both this and future generations of women what is possible. You are living proof that she has options in life and that her dreams are not only that – they are possible.
And for that, I thank you.